


Gibberish

by 2originalcents



Category: South Park
Genre: Gore, M/M, Pining, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Unrequited Love, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 15:31:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3942046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2originalcents/pseuds/2originalcents
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Butters dies trying to save Kenny and Cartman is pissed off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gibberish

It all happened so fast. Neither Cartman nor Kenny had time to react before seeing Butters’ limp body be tossed across the road like a rag doll. Cartman stood motionless on the sidewalk where Butters had been standing next to him moments ago. His mouth hung open, unshed tears in his eyes as he tried to process what had happened. Kenny was on the opposite side of the road, sitting, a few scrapes from falling after Butters shoved him out of the way of the speeding car. He also couldn’t believe what happened, but he snapped out of the shock quicker than Cartman and scrambled to his feet, running towards Butters, but it was too late. Butters died on impact, his body laid heavy in Kenny’s arms, and it was then that both boys finally let out a painful wail over what transpired.

\--

Cartman was sitting by himself in a corner of the funeral home. Butters’ parents were both in hysterics near the coffin, and he had no desire to express this particular pain in such a loud and obnoxious way. This was private. No one knew, no one would ever know, how he felt now that Butters was gone, and that he wasn’t able to do anything for him.

As he sat, eyes on the coffin but his view blocked by those coming to say their farewells, he heard a gasp come from the right. He turned in time to see Wendy, teary-eyed, whisper something to Mrs. McCormick, who had a hand clasped over her mouth, her husband’s hand squeezing down on her shoulder in comfort.

Cartman swallowed and he knew exactly what Wendy had told them. She must have found Kenny dead somewhere. His stomach turned to knots and he had to count backwards from ten to calm down. He clenched his teeth and turned his hands into tight fists. Kenny couldn’t even wait until Butters was buried to mock his sacrifice. Cartman took deep breaths. There was nothing he could do now, Kenny was dead. But he would come back in due time.

\--

Kenny was running, getting overwhelmed by the size of Heaven, of eternity. He seemed mad as he searched all through Hell for Butters. He didn’t know how much time he would have before his next rebirth, but he couldn’t find him anywhere. Growing impatient, he sought out Satan, who let him know that no soul by the name of Leopold Stotch has been sent to Hell. Most likely Butters was in Heaven.

But Heaven was vast, white, and mostly empty. While traversing Hell was a crowded nightmare, Heaven was a spacious wasteland, and God was busier and much harder to talk to about mundane things, like Heaven’s populace. Kenny was on his own, but just as he was ready to give up and try again in his next death, he found a group of people huddled over, giggles and cheers coming from them.

Kenny walked towards the group, and he would have cried if he could have when he heard a familiar voice gleefully scream, “Oh boy! I got Park Place!”

Kenny let out a small laugh. Of course Butters was playing monopoly with some of the Mormons. And of course he was happy he got Park Place. This was Heaven after all. Of course, of course, of course.

As he approached, Butters looked up, and his already cheery disposition grew into crazed giddiness when he saw Kenny.

“Kenny!” Butters shouted, running towards him and knocking them both down to the clouds, his arms around Kenny’s neck.

“Hey Butters,” Kenny said, smiling and petting Butters’ hair.

The happy reunion lasted for a moment before Butters bolted up, his hand flying to his mouth.

“Oh no! Kenny! What happened! Why are you here? Did the car hit you too?” Though he couldn’t cry, Butters voice gave out to a shudder.

“What? Oh, no, no! I, uh, I kinda killed myself,” Kenny said, and immediately regretted saying that when he saw Butters’ horrified expression. “No, no! Let me explain! You’re on this side now, so I think this means you’ll finally remember. I can’t die, Butters. Not permanently, anyway. Pretty soon I’ll be reborn back on earth, so we only have a short time together and I really wanted to see you.”

Butters cocked his head. He was horribly confused. But he also figured Kenny must know what he was talking about, so with a stoic face he nodded and said, “Well, that’s good, I guess. You get to go back. Wait, what do you mean I’ll remember now?”

“No one back on earth actually remembers when I die. When I get reborn it’s like it never happened. So that’s why you pushed me out of the way of that car, because you didn’t know. But Butters, I would have been fine. I would have come back and you would have forgotten all about that accident. But now…” He trailed off and sighed heavily, the gravity of Butters’ actions weighing heavily on him.

“Oh,” was all Butters could say to that. He turned away and then back to Kenny, rethinking his actions, but after a moment he shook his head and smiled. “I still don’t regret it. Even if maybe it was all for nothing, I’m glad I was able to save you just once.”

“It wasn’t all for nothing,” Kenny quickly said. “No act of selflessness is ever for nothing. What you did for me means the world to me. I’ve died countless times, and in none of those instances did anyone ever try to take the bullet for me, literally or figuratively. And maybe I’m being a little selfish, because I know I’ll come back while others won’t, but still...Butters… Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome, Ken!” Butters said, a broad smile back on his lips.

“But can I ask why you did it? It doesn’t make any sense, why would you just push me out of the way and get hit yourself?”

Now Butters looked away bashfully and rubbed his knuckles together.

“I don’t know. I just...It’s just. When I saw that car coming, and you were distracted as you crossed the street, my body just reacted and I ran to you. I guess I didn’t want to see you get hit by that car ‘cause I really care about you. A lot. Like, _a lot_ a lot.”

Kenny could have killed himself all over again. He could have slammed his head against a brick wall for being such a moron, for not seeing all the signs when Butters was still alive. But how was he suppose to know that all the flowers and kindness Butters would shower him with were meant as anything more than tokens of friendship? But how could he not know? How could he be so naive, despite considering himself an expert in love?

“Butters,” Kenny started, feeling anguish in his chest despite being in Heaven. “Fuck. I really wish you had told me this sooner, when you were still alive. Instead we have to start so late.”

“Start?” Butters asked.

“Yeah. Because I really care about you too. And seeing you give me your all just to save me, it makes me want to be with you, wherever you are.”

“Oh, Ken! This is like a dream! But you can’t! You have to live! I want you to live!”

Kenny pursed his lips and shook his head. “Butters, I’ve been wanting to die permanently for a long time now. Life is only pain and death to me. At least here I don’t feel any of that. I can finally stay put. And I can stay put with you.”

Butters sighed, almost sobbed, but he couldn’t cry. He pushed Kenny out of the way of the car to save him, but now he was here with him, in Heaven, telling him he returns his feelings. Butters thought his heart would burst from happiness, but also, how could he ever ask Kenny for this? How could he be so selfish that the thought of Kenny permanently dying and staying with him forever filled him with so much joy?

“Kenny, I… I would want nothing more than for you to stay here with me, but… I can’t ask you for that. I can’t!”

“If you want me to stay, than it’s done. I’ll find a way to come and permanently stay with you, because there’s nothing left for me on earth, anyway, with you up here.”

Butters opened his mouth to protest, but that was when Kenny was becoming lighter, his soul less substantial. “Kenny?” he cried.

“Don’t worry, Butters. This just means I have to go back. But I swear, I’ll find a way to stay put here with you, okay?”

“Okay.” Butters helplessly nodded as he watched Kenny disappear.

Once he was gone, Butters stood and rubbed his knuckles together. Well everyone eventually dies. Was it really so bad to want Kenny to come a little sooner than expected?

\--

A week after his last rebirth, Kenny had been busy doing research on Cthulhu, his only lead on his immortality. He decided to drop out of school, his precious time now spent entirely on this one task. He knew townspeople sneered at him. What a waste that a promising young man like Butters died for someone who dropped out of school just weeks after his sacrifice. None of them knew what Kenny was doing was for Butters, was so he could be together with him forever.

So now it was dark out, a heavy tome in Kenny’s hands as he read on his bed, trying to understand the words written in the _Necronomicon,_ when his phone rang. It was a text from Cartman asking to meet in their special spot near Stark’s Pond. He missed Butters and needed someone to talk to.

Kenny sat up and sighed. He figured he could take a break. Cartman took Butters’ death incredibly hard, the least he could do was try to comfort him and try to imply, as best he could, that Butters was okay.

\--

“I just still can’t believe it, you know?” Cartman said, sitting on the cold, hard ground, his back against a tree and Kenny sitting beside him, the two sipping on beers. “He was my best friend, and now he’s gone.”

“I know. It’s fucking hard. I mean, how do you think I feel? But you have got to know, I’m didn’t drop out to mock what Butters did for me. I dropped out ‘cause I have to do what I have to do. Butters showed me that I have to live life my way, and no one elses. I just really can’t have you being pissed off at me, too.”

“I’m not pissed off. Why would I? It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s. I just wish I could have done something to save _him_ , but everything happened so fast.”

“Yeah, it did.”

They sat in silence, drinking their drinks and missing their friends. Kenny was contemplating explaining everything to Cartman. Maybe he would remember and he could help? As he was weighing the pros and cons of explaining, for the umpteenth time, his immortality, his head suddenly started spinning and vision blurred.

“Are you okay?” Cartman asked as he followed Kenny up to their feet.

“Yeah,” Kenny said, swaying in place and fanning himself slightly. “I think I just drank too much, or maybe I’m just more tired that I thought, but I need to go.”

Kenny took want step towards Cartman and fell into his arms, unconscious. Cartman called to him and shook his body in his arms, waiting for a reaction. When he didn’t get one, he took Kenny to his truck, which was hidden within the thick side of the forest they were hidden in. He then came back for their discarded beer bottles, making sure no one could tell two people were just sitting there.

\--

Kenny blinked rapidly as he was coming to. There was a terrible pulsing in his temple and his lips were parched. He tried to move his hands or legs, but they were stuck, bound down to whatever seat he was in. He looked around, but everything was dark, when a sudden beam of bright, fluorescent lights hit him and caused him to groan.

“Oh, good. You’re finally awake. Took you long enough,” Cartman said as he walked down into his basement. As he approached Kenny he grabbed a cup of coconut water with a straw in it and put it to Kenny’s mouth. “Supposedly this hydrates better,” he explained as Kenny sipped from it, hoping internally that it was poison.

“What...The fuck is going on?” Kenny said when he finished his drink, feeling partly more refreshed as he squinted, still not use to the light.

“That’s an interesting question. What _is_ going on?” Cartman pondered as he sat against the table where the cup of coconut water was. “Well, currently you’re tied up, in my basement, with no way out and no means of escape. Quite the predicament, wouldn’t you say?”

Kenny looked at Cartman in disbelief, but soon he started chuckling. “I would say. So what happens now? You’re going to torture me to death? Or be humane for once and just put a bullet through my head?”

This time Cartman is the one who snorted.

“Torture you? I don’t want to torture you. And on the contrary, I don’t want to kill you, I want to extend your life for as long as possible.”

Kenny furrowed his brows, not understanding Cartman’s choice of words. But the hairs in the back of his neck stood when Cartman stepped close to him. He bent towards him, his hands on top of Kenny’s arms, their faces just inches apart.

“How’s Butters?” Cartman asked.

Kenny felt the blood leave his cheeks and his heart jackhammering in his chest.

“What?” he asked back.

“Is he okay? Is he in Heaven or in Hell?”

“What are you talking about? How would I--”

Kenny was caught off when Cartman slapped him so hard across his face, it stung.

“Do not fuck with me!” Cartman roared. “Where’s Butters? How is he? I know you fucking saw him last time you died!”

Kenny’s ears were ringing and he wanted to reach for his cheek, but remembered he was tied down.

“You remember?” is all Kenny could say. “How?”

“I have your eyes and I drank your ashes. Of course I remember!” Cartman said, stepping back. “I also remember watching helplessly as Butters died for a piece of shit like you while you did nothing, despite knowing full well you could come back after a death and he can’t!”

“You think I wanted this to happen? Cartman, this wasn’t my fault!”

“Save it! Just tell me how he is.”

Kenny swallowed. He tasted metal and realized he bit his tongue open when Cartman slapped him. He rubbed his tongue to the roof of his mouth before answering.

“He’s fine. I actually found him in Heaven playing board games with some Mormons.”

Cartman let out a relieved sigh.

“Look, Cartman,” Kenny continued. “I swear, I didn’t mean for this to happen. If I could go back and switch places with him, I would! I wouldn’t have let him die for me! But if you can remember, then this means you can help me. You can help Butters. I’m trying to figure out how to make myself mortal, so I can die for good and be with him in Heaven. That’s what we both want, and I promised him I’d find a way to stay with him permanently.”

Cartman had calmed down listening to Kenny’s explanation, and he lifted his brows, surprised to hear this plan.

“Wow,” Cartman said. “I can’t believe I guessed right. You dropped out of school to figure out how to become mortal. It’s a good thing I got to you before you figured it out then, huh?”

“What is that suppose to mean?”

“It means you’re not going to die. You’re not going to see Butters again. You’re going to be stuck down here, with me, to a ripe old age.

“You cannot be serious.”

“See these lights over you,” he said, pointing at the ceiling. “They’re UV lights, so you won’t become vitamin d deficient. I have a treadmill back here to keep you mobile, and a library card to get audiobooks so you won’t get bored. I’m going to keep you nice and healthy. Though, when I think about it, the best move would be to turn you into a vegetable. That way you’re soul stays trapped in your practically dead body. But that’s such a double edge sword, and I can’t have you dying on me, so this will do.”

Cartman moved to grab something behind Kenny, who was fighting against his bonds.

“You’re insane! You can’t seriously expect this to work! Help! Mrs. Cartman! Anyone! Please help!”

“I also sound proofed the room so you can scream until your throat collapses, no one will hear. And keeping my mom out of the basement won’t be so hard,” Cartman said as he wheeled an IV drop next to Kenny.

“What the fuck?” Kenny said, his voice cracking.

“I figured you might want to be cute and try to starve yourself to death.” Cartman cleaned Kenny’s arm and expertly inserted a needle and then the IV drip into him. “So this drip will give your body all the vitamins it needs to keep it alive. You might get skinny, but you’ll live.”

“How the fuck did you even get this?”

“I know a guy at the hospital who’s hella cheap to pay off.”

“Cartman, please! You can’t do this!” Kenny said, near tears as he watched Cartman move about the basement. “You really fucking can’t!”

“You like _The Hobbit_ right?” Cartman asked as he popped the audio cd into a multi-disc holding player. As the story began to play he hummed to himself, making sure everything was in place before heading towards the stairs.

“Cartman, _please_ ,” Kenny whimpered.

“You should be set for the rest of the day. See you tomorrow. And we’ll try the treadmill then.”

Kenny’s mouth hung open as his eyes filled with tears. Cartman didn’t turn to look back as he walked up the steps and closed the door behind him. Kenny could hear a lock turning and he broke down crying.

\--

Cartman had successfully kept Kenny locked in his basement for six months. In that time there was a buzz in town to locate him, but that eventually died down once his parents realized the cost of looking for their son and accepting the fact that he probably just skipped town, which wasn’t an unheard of act for a McCormick to do, though they had expected more from him.

Cartman was sufficiently upset at the loss of Kenny to keep up appearances. He damned Kenny in front of their friends and he prayed they would find him dead in some ditch. Stan and Kyle would no doubt get upset, but neither suspected the truth, which was what he wanted.

Kenny was doubled over in his seat when Cartman came down to check on him. He wanted to will his body to die, so he could restart and stay away from Cartman, but the fatass was smart, and kept him far away from death’s door.

“My mom made beef stew with mac and cheese as the side last night,” Cartman said, a hot plate in his hand.

Kenny lifted his head and his stomach gurgled. He had planned to starve to death, knowing full well his body cannot be sustained on an IV drip alone, but Cartman didn’t attempt to feed him just any food, he fed him leftovers from his own dinner. Before, Kenny always longed for Mrs. Cartman’s food, but Cartman would prevent him from eating, insisting he was too poor and therefore lacked the sophistication to truly appreciate his mother’s culinary skills. But now that he didn’t want to eat, Cartman was baiting him with the stuff. The cruel ironies of the world.

Shamefully, when Cartman put a hearty serving of stew by his mouth, Kenny ate. As Cartman chatted happily about the gossip of the day, Kenny ate half his meal before finally turning his head, disgusted with himself for being so weak.

“So I checked last night and that movie _Ghost_ is on netflix. I was thinking I could set up my laptop down here and we could watch it together,” Cartman said, a taunting look in his eyes as he held a glass of water with a straw for Kenny to drink.

Kenny sipped his water before pushing the straw away and spitting what he had in his mouth into Cartman’s face. Cartman, however, didn’t get upset. He took a deep breath and wiped his face.

“Well, if that’s how you’re going to be, I’ll just leave you down here alone in the dark. Maybe tomorrow you’ll behave and we can try again.”

Cartman grabbed the plates and headed upstairs to leave Kenny alone and to get ready himself for bed.

\--

_Cartman was walking around Stark’s Pond. It was dark and misty. The moon was bright and it seemed like the entire pond was surrounded by forest, he couldn’t see the town at all. He felt panic in his chest, and started walking when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped and spun on his heel._

_“Jesus Christ!” he breathed, hand to chest when he saw who the culprit._

_“Sorry, Eric, didn’t mean to scare you,” Butters said, a cheerful smile on his face._

_“What are you even doing out here to begin with?” Cartman asked, annoyed, when he suddenly realized what was wrong. “Wait, Butters? How are you here at all?”_

_“We need to talk,” Butters said, still smiling, but more serious._

_They now sat on a bench, the two were looking out as Cartman cried, his palms pressed against his eyes as Butters waited patiently for him to compose himself._

_“I’ve missed you so much,” Cartman finally blurted. “Every fucking day, I miss you so much. The pain doesn’t go away.”_

_“I know,” Butters said, looking down at his hands. “I know, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to die.”_

_Cartman started laughing, thinking how ridiculous it was for Butters to apologize to him. He dropped his hands and took a deep breath before turning to him._

_“I really do miss you,” he said. “A lot. Everyday I see something and I’ll think,_ Oh, Butters would love that _, or,_ Butters would think this is hilarious _. And then I remember you’re gone and it just hits me all over again. It hurts so much.”_

_“I know. I’ve seen you in those moments. It hurts me too, seeing that realization hit you over and over again and not being able to help you. I’m technically not suppose to be here now.”_

_“No! Don’t go! Please!” Cartman said, frantic and reaching for Butters’ hand._

_“I won’t,” Butters said, squeezing his hand back. “I get to talk to you until we’ve made our peace.”_

_“What’s that suppose to mean?”_

_“You know what it means.”_

_Cartman let go of Butters’ hand and turned to look at the pond. He bit his lip and shook his head._

_“Then you’re wasting your time.”_

_“Eric, you can’t do this--”_

_“Yes I can! It’s surprisingly easy and kind of like keeping a pet. Just gotta make sure to feed him and take him to the bathroom every day, and we’re good.”_

_“Is this really the life you want to live? You want to obsess over something you had no control over forever?”_

_“What do you want me to do? Just forget about it? Just let him have what he wants? He took you away from me!”_

_“It wasn’t his fault--”_

_“I’m so lonely without you, I can’t even take it! And you want me to just step aside so he can have you forever?”_

_“Eric, I love him--”_

_“And I love you! I’m in love with you, Butters! I’ve always been in love with you! And it was only until after you died did Kenny return your feelings! But I was always there! I always cared about you!”_

_They sat, staring at each other in silence. Cartman was panting, having gotten winded, and Butters pressed his lips together, his heartbreaking that Cartman finally told him the truth._

_“So now what?” Butters asked after another moment. “What’s the plan? Do you want to die instead?”_

_Cartman shuddered and looked away. Tears were streaming down his face again and Butters scooted closer to him. He cupped his face with both his hands and turned him so they were facing each other again, his thumbs rubbing the tears from his cheeks._

_“It’s okay to want to live, Eric. It really is. It doesn’t mean you loved me any less when I was alive, but it does mean you need to learn to move on. I want so badly for you to move on, to be happy, to live a full life. My life is over. Kenny’s life is over. But yours isn’t, and you should give yourself the chance to live it.”_

_Cartman looked at him, and then pressed his cheek against Butter’s right hand and rubbed it, enjoying the caress he never got before._

_“I love you,” Cartman whimpered. “I miss you. Are you happy? Did it hurt?”_

_“It didn’t hurt,” Butters said, petting his hair. “And I am happy. But I’d be happier with Kenny and with seeing you live your life.”_

_Cartman turned his head so his lips were against Butters’ palm and he kissed him. He then sat up and took a deep breath._

_“It’s amazing seeing you again. I’m so sorry I couldn’t do anything to help you,” Cartman said._

_Butters smiled and shrugged. “It wasn’t your fault. Things were suppose to play out this way.”_

_“So this is goodbye?”_

_Butters closed his eyes and nodded. “Just for now.”_

_Cartman nodded. He moved towards Butters and gave him a tight hug. Butters hugged him back._

_“I miss you too. You were a great best friend, all things considered,” Butters said, and they both laughed and pulled apart. “Be good, okay?”_

_“Okay.”_

_Butters kissed Cartman’s forehead before getting up and heading towards the forest, but he turned to wave goodbye to him one last time._

\--

Kenny was contemplating how painful biting off his tongue would be, and if there would be enough blood loss to die when Cartman headed downstairs, still in his pajamas and his hair disheveled, a brown parcel in hand.

Kenny didn’t speak as Cartman dropped the package on his lap and undid his bonds. He watched him, hesitating a little, wondering if he finally found a way to make him comatose.

“ _That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons, even Death may die_ ,” Cartman quoted to Kenny. “That line is literally gibberish.”

Kenny was quiet. He looked down in his lap and slowly opened the package.

“At the end of the day, all you have to understand is that the universe is one big balancing act. Good and evil. Day and night. Water and fire. Everything needs to be balanced. Every power must have an equal opposing force to it. That’s the only way for anything to exist. Tipping the scales one way or another disrupts that balance and breeds chaos.”

The box was filled with what appeared to be pink bits of cereal and mint leaves. Kenny looked up at Cartman.

“Okay?”

Cartman rolled his eyes.

“Okay?” he repeated, annoyed.

“I don’t know why you’re telling me any of this,” Kenny said.

“It means what you already know, only an immortal can kill an immortal.”

Kenny’s head reeled back, remembering when Henrietta first told him that.

“So only Cthulhu can kill me for good? And what is this?”

“Wrong immortal,” Cartman said. “You are Cthulhu. Or, at least a part of him. You’re the bit that lives within this dimension. Cthulhu has bits of himself in millions of dimensions, and that’s why when you were taunting him, he ignored you. Because he recognized you as a part of him, and therefore harmless.”

“So then… No don’t tell me--”

“Fucking Mint Berry fucking Crunch is the other immortal and the only one who can kill you. _But_ , if you die, he becomes mortal, and vice versa. This is to keep the balance, one immortal cannot exist without the other, and this is also why he didn’t kill Cthulhu, he merely chased him back to his dimension so as not to lose his own immortality.”

“But if I die and Mint Berry Crunch becomes mortal, who will stop Cthulhu if he ever comes back?”

“Cthulhu cannot open gates to dimensions that don’t harbor a part of himself in them. You dying would be the best thing to happen to our dimension. But, the cult of Cthulhu is still very much active. Eventually they’ll figure out you’re gone and they’ll attempt to create another key and curse another miserable life. Presumably, the universe will provide another champion against that new key and the world will keep on spinning,” Cartman said, twirling his finger in the air.

“How could you possibly know any of this?” Kenny asked, shutting his eyes tight.

“I wasn’t just destroying cities when Cthulhu was on this side.”

Kenny looked at him. Tears were in his eyes and he shook his head.

“You knew this. You knew all of this. You knew I couldn’t die. You must have known I hated this curse and you knew how to heal me from it. Why didn’t you tell me before? Why did you wait until now?”

Cartman shrugged and crossed his arms. “Because I never wanted you to die for good. You’re clumsy. You die all the time. But you always come back, and we get to be friends, and we get to hang out and do stuff. When everyone is sad because you’re gone, I know I’ll see you again. And, I don’t know, it makes me feel special and important, that I know this thing about you that no one else does. But… It’s time to move on. You need to die and I need to make new friends now that I’ll have neither of you.”

Kenny stared at Cartman and quickly wiped the tears that spilled from his eyes. As much as he hated Cartman, he also loved him. He made poor choices constantly, but at the end he knew when to call it quits and do the right thing. He took a deep breath to compose himself.

“So, what am I suppose to do with this?”

“Eat it. One immortal will literally be consuming another, and even if it’s not to his death, it should still enough to do the job.”

Kenny nodded and took a deep breath. He scooped a handful of the cereal and leaves and ate until it was all gone. He then stood and looked around himself.

“How are we suppose to know if it worked?”

With a swiftness neither knew Cartman possessed, he plunged an ice pick deep into the curve of Kenny’s neck and shoulders. But Cartman didn’t stop with one hit, he pulled it out and hit Kenny again and again, in his neck, head, and chest. Kenny went down quickly, and he died after a pick to the back of his skull, but Cartman didn’t let up. He fell on his knees and attacked him over and over again, ignoring his own sore muscles, not satisfied until there were a hundred holes in Kenny’s body. In the last body he would ever have. Cartman wanted it destroyed. He wanted to erase all remnants of him from the earth. If Kenny wanted death so badly, then he would have death.

Once it was over, and Cartman was satisfied, he tossed the ice pick aside and took a deep breath. Kenny’s body barely looked like a body anymore. Cartman stood and wiped the sweat off his brow and the blood from his hands on his shirt.

“Godspeed, Kenny,” he whispered before getting ready to dispose of his body.

\--

Kenny was welcomed to Heaven by Butters throwing himself at him again. He kissed Kenny deeply and both were pleased that pleasure like that translated nicely into the afterlife.

“You’re here! You’re really here again!” Butters cried, overjoyed to have Kenny in his arms again.

“Yeah. I don’t know what changed Cartman’s mind, but I’m thankful for it.”

Butters smiled and thought he would tell Kenny about his conversation with Cartman later.

“He was a bit dramatic, though. With the ice pick and all,” Butters said.

“Well, Cartman isn’t really capable of doing a favor without fucking it up somehow.”

Butters grinned and looped his arms around Kenny’s neck and buried his face into his chest.

“Is this permanent?”

“I don’t know. I really hope so,” Kenny said, holding Butters and breathing in his hair.

\--

Time passed, and Kenny was never reborn. He stayed with Butters in Heaven, making love and enjoying each other’s presence as they checked in on Cartman, their gauge to time passing, pleased that he did move on and found new people to fill the void they left.

 

 


End file.
